/ What you don't want at a wall

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Flinticus 07 Nov 2019

that you do see  / find, so, no 'tigers' or 'blokes with pointed sticks poking your rear end to get you up the route'

I'll start with badly controlled kids groups running around under high bouldering overhangs. 

Routes more than 3 months old.

Uneven or pitted matting

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jezb1 07 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

People 

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mcdougal 07 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Those bouncy, jumpy boulder problems with nothing to hold on them! 

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Tyler 07 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Any competition involving fancy dress or those neon light things.

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Neil Williams 07 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Route setters who think that the way you make routes easier/harder is just varying the hold size.

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bouldery bits 07 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Ropes.

:P

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FactorXXX 07 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Mexicans.

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Robert Durran 07 Nov 2019
In reply to Neil Williams:

> Route setters who think that the way you make routes easier/harder is just varying the hold size.

Or just putting them further apart.

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Robert Durran 07 Nov 2019
In reply to jezb1:

> People

Partricularly boulderers

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GHawksworth 07 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Overzealous staff members.

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andrew ogilvie 07 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Unwanted and unrequested beta.

But by far the most annoying ever (years ago now) a patronising  member of staff who approached me and my climbing partner : we were both about twice the staff members age.  We hadn't been in for a while and were a bit out of shape , the member of staff proceeded to offer us completely unnecessary advice on our perfectly competently tied knots presumably because he hadn't seen us at his wall before , thought we were beginners and would therefore be in awe of his "expertise". I looked at him in disbelief and asked what was wrong with it, he agreed my knot was indeed fine  but added condescendingly that he didn't want me to hurt myself. At the time I suspect the last routes partner and I had completed together were Point Five and The Old Man Of Hoy.

My partner had in fact been one of the demonstration climbers at the opening of the wall in question. 

That still annoys me...can you tell?I

edit typo

Post edited at 23:10
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FactorXXX 07 Nov 2019
In reply to FactorXXX:

> Mexicans.

To the disliker.
Wall and Mexicans...

 

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Flinticus 07 Nov 2019
In reply to FactorXXX:

I got the joke.

Less contemporary but more historic...

Alert guards with guns

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Wiley Coyote2 07 Nov 2019
In reply to andrew ogilvie:

>

> But by far the most annoying ever (years ago now) a patronising  member of staff who approached me and my climbing partner....proceeded to offer us completely unnecessary advice on our perfectly competently tied knots

>

Witnessed a similar exchange at my local wall

Young member of staff: Are you sure that knot is correct?

Very experienced climber: Well it worked OK on the Salathe Wall

YMS: They may have different rules there. All companies are different

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pec 07 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

House, garage, rap, hip hop, drum and bass or any other such patterned noise masquerading as music.

Post edited at 23:44
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The Wild Scallion 08 Nov 2019
In reply to pec:

> House, garage, rap, hip hop, drum and bass or any other such patterned noise masquerading as music.

Prelude No. 15 in D-flat major, Op. 28 by

Frédéric Chopin

Is my go to bouldering tune.

Crush it to classical

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cap'nChino 08 Nov 2019
In reply to FactorXXX:

> Mexicans.

Comment of the year in my books. 

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Andy Gamisou 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

David Hasselhoff

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Tobes 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

People in head to toe outdoor gear and a pack on - wander around a lot but never seem to climb anything

’oh I’m just back/going to blah blah’ 

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Hooo 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

From my local wall:

A large chunk of the best part of the wall removed and replaced with autobelay games for children.

Boot camp style training sessions complete with terrible loud music and shouty instructor.

A regular email that includes loads of information that I have no interest in whatsoever, and none of the information that would actually be useful. So I turn up and find half the wall closed for a refurb. When I ask why they hadn't mentioned ​it on the newsletter I'm told "We put it on Facebook". 

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wbo2 08 Nov 2019
In reply to andrew ogilvie/Wiley Coyote2:  What I suggest is getting a pink and purple pointy hat with the sign 'Experiencd Climbers' written on it.  Then they'll know how cool and clever you are.

How t.f. are you supposed to look at some bloke you've never seen before messing around with a rope and know he's a trad megahero?

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teh_mark 08 Nov 2019
In reply to wbo2:

I think that is tied to the 'obscure nitpicking' thread; some people just don't seem able to say 'yes, absolutely fine, no problems' and invent spurious issues ('your stopper knot needs more tail' being another recent favourite of mine) that their ego trip dictates.

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Neil Williams 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Wiley Coyote2:

> Witnessed a similar exchange at my local wall

> Young member of staff: Are you sure that knot is correct?

> Very experienced climber: Well it worked OK on the Salathe Wall

> YMS: They may have different rules there. All companies are different

While this mostly is just overzealousness or staff who've only been taught one way, if someone says there's something wrong with your knot at least *look* at it with the view that there might actually be something wrong with it even if you conclude it isn't.  Even the most experienced people make the occasional mistake.

I don't get why age makes any difference to this kind of thing.  Plenty of people take up climbing in their later years.  Age does not necessarily dictate experience - it gives more opportunity to have gained it, of course, but in a modern wall it's not unlikely you'll have a 50 year old who's just started and a 25 year old who's been up all sorts of stuff the world over climbing next to each other.

A sensible question (as I think the first person to comment this said) is "what's wrong with it?" - that way you can establish if they're just being silly/overzealous/patronising or not.

Post edited at 09:08
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ianstevens 08 Nov 2019
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

> Prelude No. 15 in D-flat major, Op. 28 by

> Frédéric Chopin

> Is my go to bouldering tune.

> Crush it to classical

Still just noise in patterns, the real purist needs to only listen to the random, out of time smashing on a triangle only a small child can offer.

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graeme jackson 08 Nov 2019
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

> Prelude No. 15 in D-flat major, Op. 28 by

> Frédéric Chopin

> Is my go to bouldering tune.

> Crush it to classical


Seconding Billy whizz at lawrencefield in 1982, the guys on pool wall had a beach boys greatest hits on cassette.  Quite enjoyable at the time but I've since grown to be a grumpy auld bugger if I hear any music in the hills.

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pec 08 Nov 2019
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

> Prelude No. 15 in D-flat major, Op. 28 by

> Frédéric Chopin

> Is my go to bouldering tune.

> Crush it to classical


Good choice, funnily enough I was playing that very piece on the piano last night before I went to bed

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The Wild Scallion 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

After bouldering for years at Alter rock in the old days .

COLD !!!!!

It was colder than the fridge .  No joke.  

You could stand around the fridge to keep warm .

;-D

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Stuart (aka brt) 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Water dripping down the wall. Anyone else remember SIDS wall? 

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Deadeye 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

insufficient height for leading (I don't really do bouldering)

Bad light

Too hot/cold

Boringly set and infrequently changed routes

Further than cycling distance of my house

Over a tenner and without a carnet option.

Silly opening hours

Narrow variety of hold types; plain ply surface

Space given over to cafe, changing, competitions, gear shop, bouldering, viewing galleries, water features in the foyer, etc.

But I think I told you this already?

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Phil79 08 Nov 2019
In reply to pec:

> House, garage, rap, hip hop, drum and bass or any other such patterned noise masquerading as music.

Drum and bass is the only music they should be playing.

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Hat Dude 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Neil Williams:

No - The best thing to do is get your smartass reply in, then turn your back and surreptitiously check you knot ;-)

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Neil Williams 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Hat Dude:

> No - The best thing to do is get your smartass reply in, then turn your back and surreptitiously check you knot ;-)


:D That also works to be fair.

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In reply to wbo2:

> How t.f. are you supposed to look at some bloke you've never seen before messing around with a rope and know he's a trad megahero?

Easy.  He'll have a beard, some heavily UV damaged cord as prussiks on the back of his harness, he'll spend ages locked off to have a good feel of the best bit of the next hold, probably wont do anything dynamic and will know where the nearest place you can get real ale is.   

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Neil Williams 08 Nov 2019
Neil Henson 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Hand driers that shatter your ear drums.

Staff that deliberately try and ignore you if you dare to try and order a cup of tea 10 minutes before the café closes (which is when most people typically finish an after work climbing session).

Above are based on my experiences at my local bouldering wall, which is otherwise excellent.

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FactorXXX 08 Nov 2019
In reply to cap'nChino:

> Comment of the year in my books. 

A book?
A pamphlet at best!

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Lemony 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Phones on mats. Anyone who leaves their phone on the mat should a. have their phone confiscated, b. be banned from the wall and c. be cast out into the wilderness for all time.

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Wiley Coyote2 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Neil Williams:

> While this mostly is just overzealousness or staff who've only been taught one way, if someone says there's something wrong with your knot at least *look* at it with the view that there might actually be something wrong with it even if you conclude it isn't.  Even the most experienced people make the occasional mistake.

I think you missed the laugh here. The funny part was not that our eager young whippersnapper  did not recognise a bowline  but that his knowledge/experience was  so limited that he assumed the Salathe Wall must be just another climbing wall rather than part of one of the most famous cliffs on the planet. Now do you geddit?

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Neil Williams 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Wiley Coyote2:

> I think you missed the laugh here. The funny part was not that our eager young whippersnapper  did not recognise a bowline  but that his knowledge/experience was  so limited that he assumed the Salathe Wall must be just another climbing wall rather than part of one of the most famous cliffs on the planet. Now do you geddit?

I did get that bit

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Iamgregp 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

People who are much better at climbing than me

People who are much worse at climbing than me

Any rules about enforcing what type of belay device you can and can't use

Manky old walls that are clearly 20+ years old

(Though the Salathe wall is getting pretty old now, they should refurb that)

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Neil Williams 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Iamgregp:

> (Though the Salathe wall is getting pretty old now, they should refurb that)

Should definitely reset it once a month :D :D

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Bulls Crack 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Neil Williams:

> Route setters who think that the way you make routes easier/harder is just varying the hold size.

Better than than just varying the distance between them! 

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Neil Williams 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Bulls Crack:

> Better than than just varying the distance between them! 

Being big, tall and thuggy I quite like a thuggy spaced out jug ladder - but yes, there should probably be more thought put into things than that, e.g. a harder route will usually only have one way of doing the moves, vs an easier one can be done in lots of ways.

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john arran 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Bulls Crack:

I once set a pair of routes on a wall in Islamabad, using similar but smaller holds for one of them but placing them in precisely the same relative spots in the grid, i.e. every hold on the harder red route was exactly 30cm left of a slightly larger hold on the easier blue route. It actually worked out really well and there were only a couple of moves that ended up climbing substantially differently between the two.

Actually that was maybe 9 years ago and I wouldn't be at all surprised to find they're still up, given that they fixed the holds in place with nuts from the back of the wall so they would never move! That's as long as the wall itself hasn't fallen down yet!

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carl dawson 08 Nov 2019
In reply to Stuart (aka brt):

SIDS: happy days (especially when the ice formed). And no mats.

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Jon Stewart 08 Nov 2019
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

> Prelude No. 15 in D-flat major, Op. 28 by

> Frédéric Chopin

Good man!

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tew 09 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Overly complicated joining systems.

Where I just want to boulder as I'm here for one evening is a monumental task as I said yes I can lead climb and belay. 

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toad 09 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Bloody ipads

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Ollie Keynes 10 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

Bear Grylls

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Flinticus 10 Nov 2019
In reply to Phil79:

No way. Good uplifting techno, electronica e.g. Bicep or Rival Consoles

Less classic rock. I'm not on a road trip with Jeremy Clarkson.

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Andy Gamisou 10 Nov 2019
In reply to Flinticus:

> No way. Good uplifting techno, electronica e.g. Bicep or Rival Consoles

> Less classic rock. I'm not on a road trip with Jeremy Clarkson.

I'm hoping you'll make an exception for Pink Floyd's "The Wall" ;-)

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wbo2 10 Nov 2019
In reply to Andy Gamisou:good joke but a dreadfully dreary piece of music.

Movin' on up  

Good quality mid grade boulders - and a variety of 'em from parcour style to crimpy 'old mans routes'

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JRichardson 13:18 Tue
In reply to Flinticus:

Smartphones! Starting to get fed up with having to avoid people filming each other at the bouldering wall for their Instabrag.

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Neil Williams 13:44 Tue
In reply to JRichardson:

> Smartphones! Starting to get fed up with having to avoid people filming each other at the bouldering wall for their Instabrag.

I don't overly mind filming, but people climbing with smartphones in their pocket raises a risk of it falling out of their pocket while doing an awkward move and smacking their belayer on the head, which as helmets are not conventionally worn at walls would be rather undesirable in its results.  Only thing I have in my pocket while climbing is my asthma inhaler.

Post edited at 13:44
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Peakpdr 10:35 Wed
In reply to Flinticus:

Outdoor shoes on the wall / Mats

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cragtyke 11:56 Wed
In reply to Flinticus:

Dirty tw*ts climbing in bare feet.

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Neil Williams 13:07 Wed
In reply to cragtyke:

Their feet won't be any worse than their hands.

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JLS 13:56 Wed
In reply to Peakpdr:

>"Outdoor shoes on the wall / Mats"

But rock shoes that were last week standing in Kalymnos goat poo are fine.

I think it's safer not to lick the holds.

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JLS 13:58 Wed
In reply to Neil Williams:

>"Their feet won't be any worse than their hands."

Or their climbing shoes after a visit to the urinals.

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Neil Williams 14:06 Wed
In reply to JLS:

Yeah, why is it that at climbing walls people seem to stand 6 foot away from the troughs and shower the floor?  It's far worse than anywhere else.

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JLS 14:13 Wed
In reply to Neil Williams:

>"why is it that at climbing walls people seem to stand 6 foot away from the troughs"

Don't want to stand on someone else's piss in their climbing shoes, 'cause that'll transfer germs on to the holds, init.

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yhxx 16:11 Wed
In reply to Flinticus:

narcissistic routesetters with huge egos

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cragtyke 00:35 Thu
In reply to Neil Williams:

> Their feet won't be any worse than their hands.


Apart from the veruccas, athlete's foot fungal infections, boot sweat rot etc

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Neil Williams 12:37 Thu
In reply to cragtyke:

> Apart from the veruccas, athlete's foot fungal infections, boot sweat rot etc

Most people don't have verrucae, and if you're bothered about the rest of those I'd suggest a climbing wall is probably not the place for you.  They are not clean places pretty much by definition.

I don't climb barefoot, but I don't see why I'd care if someone did.

Post edited at 12:37
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