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Climbers and Walkers Urged to Donate 'Backpack Bogroll'

In this time of crisis Britain's hill-goers have been called on to dig deep, by donating the spare toilet roll stashes from their packs in aid of a nation caught short.

It's amazing how much you might find when you start looking  © #SoftAndStrong
It's amazing how much you might find when you start looking
© #SoftAndStrong

"Most of us will be familiar with the term backpack bogroll" explains Lou Rawls of Share-a-Sheet, an initiative to bring together the needy and the needless.

"Rummage around in the bowels of your sack and you're bound to unearth a wad of nearly-new toilet paper, put by for emergencies and long since forgotten.

"Since we are all staying at home within easy reach of bathroom facilities, these supplies are now lying idle, an untapped resource. At the same time others are in a mess and going without. But never have we been more in it together. Well now we want to flush out your unusued stock."

It is estimated that the total amount of spare paper held back for just-in-case in Britain's rucksacks is sufficient to wipe out the national deficit of toilet tissue.

"Go on, spread the love" says Rawls.

Here's one we found earlier  © Nick Browntrousers
Here's one we found earlier
© Nick Browntrousers

Department of Health officials were quick, as ever, to spot a procurement opportunity.

"Since climbers and walkers will already be posting their unused tissues, we would invite them to include a few sanitary towels. These can be repurposed as surgical masks for our brave and valued health workers" said government spokesperson Eamon R.Swipe.

"You might think we've been caught with our pants down, but as we have always said since at least last Monday, pre-emptive action is the secret of successful disaster management. Spend a penny before the need becomes truly urgent and you won't find yourself up the creek when the crap hits the fan..."


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1 Apr

Thanks - I've got 22,000 spare rolls, I might have overdone the panic-buying a bit - I'll chuck them all off the top of the Roaches when travel is allowed again, so they'll be spread around all and sundry in a democratic way :)

Do you have the address and I will pop around this morning to bring our not needed, we are using the spagnum moss that BMC have spare.

1 Apr

I'll drop everything and drag my a*se over to the collection point after work! I met Lou Rawls once but he wasn't very well - one minute white as a sheet, the next a little flushed.

1 Apr

Last week's toilet paper is drying on the line right now. Should be able to bring it over after lunch... if it's deemed essential?

I also met Lou Rawls once. I thought he was pissed ... three sheets to the wind!

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