UKC

I'm hoping for a bit of mutual schadenfreude, since this happened to us yesterday.

It's the first time we've managed it and it had to be at the very top of Coquetdale, with no mobile signal, twelve miles of potholed single-track to the nearest village, the bags inside the car and a baby and a preschooler with us. The good news was that we were able to get some signal by walking up the hill a bit, the friends who we were on holiday with were at the bottom of the valley and able to pick us up, and the roadside assistance guy who came out later in the evening was was surprisingly chipper about having to drive for an hour into the middle of nowhere. But it was a bit of an oh-crap moment until we actually managed to get into contact with someone.

Anyone got a more comical mishap? Kinloch Hourn in a snowstorm? Epic unintended walk-outs? How much does it take before you just give up and take a rock to your rear window?

I was lucky with mine. It was my parents’ Rover in about 1999 and I locked the keys in it. Was in Betws y Coed and the garage guy bent the door slightly, hooked a wire around the knob thing and pulled it up to unlock the door. Never needed to tell my parents, and the door wasn’t noticeably bent after. Not sure what we’d have done with a newer car. 
 

a couple of years later I hit a curb and scraped the underside of the car. Parents found out about that one when they had an insurance claim form on the doormat when they got back from holiday. Made an interesting phone call of how are you, and how’s the car. 
 

Finally by the Bridge of Orchy hotel I pulled over to let a truck past on a minor road and the car sank in to the ditch at the side. Had to get a couple of guys in kilts from the hotel to lever it out with a big strong stick. Again the parents never found out about that one. 
 

Not going to go in to the non car related stupid things I did as a kid.

Some years ago came across someone who had dropped his bag with Gogarth guide and car keys into the water under main cliff.

I went to find some bolt cutters for his steering wheel clamp while a local friend used a wire clothes hanger to open the cr door.  They got away fine.

Off the topic of the OP but you've already steered us that way....

a genuine classic in the UKC articles

https://www.ukclimbing.com/articles/features/an_epic_after_climbing_by_john...

Hopefully someone will dig out the famous John Cox car keys thread for you.

So quick!

First car with central locking, new to me, with two keys a slave and a master. But I’ve forgotten which is which. Decide to go to the hills and take both, with the intention of getting another slave cut on the way home. To good a weekend so I stay out late.

Open car and put key in ignition as I’d always done to avoid losing. Close door and go to boot to change. Throw sac in and swing boot down in one motion. Car auto locks (second key button must have been depressed in sac).

So I standing at the Linn of Dee in mid summer being attacked by midgies with everything car keys, house keys, money and mobile all locked in car.

Walk to Inver public phone (3km), the phonebox light is broken, as is one pane of glass letting the little blighters in. 

 I remember my Boy Scouts training and manage to dial the operator even though I can’t see the numbers, and ask to be put through to Britannia Road Rescue.

Operator says ‘Sorry sir we can only place a request for a reverse charge call to a number you provide’. I explain my predicament, but I’ve got a jobs worth. I have to dial directory enquiry to get the number, but I have no money to do that.

I end up placing a reverse charge call to my aged parents, explaining and asking them to do 1471 to get the phone box number and then to phone me back to confirm, before they call Britannia and ask them to call the phone box.

Britannia call the box despite no policy number or registration details……what stars. They then ask what road Im on; I reply unclassified minor road 6 miles W of braemar.  ‘I’ve got you sir; Your near the Cairnwell’.  No that’s South. ‘No Sir, the system shows that as the only road you must be there’.  I ask them if they have web access, which they do, tell them to bring up OS street map and talk them to where I am, and then where the car is.

They then say they will find a recovery agent and call me back. Twenty minutes later they call back, the midgies are being well fed, ‘good news sir we have an agent coming from Kingussie for you’. To which my response is why the hell from the wrong side of the Cairngorms. ‘That’s the odd thing sir the system is now showing your road, it goes right through a place called White bridge on to another place called Glen Feshie near Kingussie, it’s quiet close to you’.  

I explain that the road does not exist and it will take at least two hours and ask if they have an agent closer, meanwhile the midgies are moving on to their equivalent of second dessert.  They phone back with a chap from Forfar. Two minutes later he calls up, I know where you are, I’ve just had a mucky job, so If you don’t mind I’ll have a shower first, I can pick you up from the phone box or meet you in the car park.

Like hell am I going to feed the midgies in the box a second longer, so I start walking back to the car.

Some time later the whole of the sky to the East lights up like there is a spaceship inbound. It’s the garage in a truck with main beams, topped by a cab light array, with two search lights on top. The mechanic jumps out, and explains he has the technology to get in……I’m thinking that this could be interesting.  He pulls out a dustbin a pours two piles of ford keys on to the floor, one next to the boot lock and one by the drivers door lock, explaining he’s a ford dealer and every time he scraps a ford he keeps the keys for just such an eventuality. He puts the bin between and says you start with the boot, if the key doesn’t work throw it back in the bucket, while he works at the drivers door….’and be sharp about it mate these midgies are bastards’

key number………. 3 works !  I kid-you not.

Brilliant tale! How long did it take you to recover physically from midge hell? 

There's a classic Smith and Jones sketch about this, which I can't seem to find on YouTube.

Jones has locked keys in the car, so calls mechanic. Smith duly arrives in breakdown lorry, assesses situation and mutters cheerfully "I'll just go and get the old box of tricks".

Returns with a small tool box, opens it, takes out a brick, puts it through the car window, reaches in and picks up the keys!

Used to be the case that any Ford key would lock another Ford, but only the correct key would open it.

My Dad used to have a credit card-sized folding emergency car key in his wallet. Came in handy when my sister locked the main key in the car when they were out one day!

Many years ago, a friend of mine used to own an old Transit minibus, which we used for Scouts. At some point, the ignition barrel had disintegrated, so you could basically start it with anything you could turn the barrel with - I used to use my front door key, among other things.

Working at a festival years ago, I returned from a shower wearing only a towel, opened the cargo door of my van, chucked my keys on the bed, grabbed a change of clothes and then closed the door, before immediately remembering that the door was knackered and could only be opened with the key. Cab and rear doors were all still locked. 

Despite the best efforts of the site crew, who were lovely but definitely all had criminal pasts, no one could break in to the bloody thing. It was the night of the crew party and I was leaving the next morning to go to another gig, so I ended up putting a rock through the passenger window and got autoglass to meet me at my destination the next afternoon. Drove all the way from Wales to London with a sign from the main stage gaffer taped over the hole.

Can you help me out here please? I’m embarrassed by my ignorance. I’ve got an old Skoda that will lock the keys inside the instant that the last door is shut. So I act on the precautionary principle that any car will do the same. Is that just superstition? Some other cars seem to be more forgiving. Do you have to perform an exact ritual to lock the keys in the car these days or does it depend on the manufacturer? Or is it always random capriciousness and how degraded your electrics are?

Not a key locked in but a key not located. It was a potholing trip one winter up a remote Dales lane. Quick change into caving kit, hide the car keys under a nearby stone and off we go. Some hours later, emerging into a darkening evening and it had snowed. Where was that stone?! While I was grovelling around on my knees sifting snow with frozen hands, one of my companions (product of a 'colourful' childhood) took the coat hanger/radio aerial and opened the door. At least everyone could get changed and avoid hypothermia. I found the keys and learnt a lesson.

Many years ago, my dad was deep in the Swedish woods one evening. He went to close the car door, but realised halfway through slamming the door that the keys were still in the ignition, so he quickly tried to grab the door before it closed. This resulted in the door shutting and locking with his fingers caught in the door. This left him in a fair bit of pain, trapped in a sturdy Volvo door as the sun was setting, probably 10 kilometres from the nearest house. This was a decade before mobile phones, so calling for help was not an option. He couldn’t reach a rock to break the window. What saved him in the end was that the door window was about a centimetre open. He first tried to sling the lock knob using the draw string from his jacket without any luck. Finally, he used his free hand to hang on the window and force it down far enough to reach in and unlock the door. He escaped with a funny story and four bruised fingers.

The first time it happened, I hadn’t told a friend that the van self-locks, and it was at Bosigran car park, at 6PM on a bank holiday weekend Sunday. The RAC didn’t get to me until 4AM. Second time it was on my drive. Third and last time I wasn’t involved at all, it was at the garage and it self locked with the keys on the ignition in the middle of the workshop.

I now have several keys with and without an immobiliser token, just to be safe.

At the car park beyond Drum at the northern end of the Welsh 3000s. New Skoda Octavia (of course); Mrs B hops out the car relieved we had made it, door slams, locked out.. no idea how to this day. 
 

…it was a long way back to Wrexham with no rear passenger window, and we also discovered even a very big rock will bounce if thrown at the middle of the window - so sore foot as well! An ignominious end to a fabulous day out  

b

I locked my keys, wallet and phone all into the car while changing into a wetsuit to go for an after work swim one Friday. Realised as I slammed the boot shut. Stranded barefoot, with no way to contact the outside world, no way to pay for transport to civilisation and the choice of sweating in my neoprene under the summer sun or lurking at the roadside in my boxer shorts. I opted for the halfway house of baring my pasty, hairy, chest and arms in an effort to keep cool.

Fortunately, I flagged a colleague down, used his phone to ring a locksmith just in time before they closed for the weekend, and only had an hours wait for them to arrive.  Colleague was kind enough to wait with me, and share a cold drink from his camper van fridge. Locksmith picked the lock using a decoder and was inside within a minute!

Only time I've done it ... left my Golf with the lights on, so it flattened the battery. No problem I thought, my friend has jumper leads, so I got those, opened the bonnet from the inside, got out, slamming the door from habit - with the keys still in the ignition. The moment I connected the battery ... kerrrlick! The car locked itself.

I had a van that had a mean sense of humour when it came to locking the doors. Sometimes the central locking just wouldn't work, then it would work and just as you were walking away would open again or it would lock and then immediately unlock, so if you didn't notice the second thump it was open. But it knew if you left the keys inside, gave you two seconds to realise what you have done and then lock. Usually this happened outside my house so was easy to get the spare key. Then it happened on a wet winter afternoon whilst picking my grandson up from school. Damn. Couldn't find anything to lever the door so figured a brick (which I had found) through the back window. But knowing how dodgy the locks were, it was parked tight up against a fence, so limited space to swing the brick. First swing bounced off the glass, slipped out of my hand, hit the fence and landed on my trainer covered foot. It took about 4 attempts before the window broke and I was able to squeeze in and get my keys. Screwed a bit of wood over the window as a temporary patch but after I had the lever if off twice, it became a fixture. I hated that van.

Opposite of a nightmare story, I got pretty lucky with handy resources, weak security and a bit of creativity.

I locked the key in my 80s MR2 at Almscliff. Not sure I was even living in the UK at the time and wouldn't  have had breakdown (because stupid) but either way, I had few options and nobody local who could help. As it turned out I found a plastic spoon and a coat hanger in the layby litter, the spoon shimmed the frameless door open and the hanger wire got me to the central locking switches. All in all it took about 5min.

It's amazing how much useful roadside litter there is when you need it.

Jk

We were waiting to get off a ferry when it became apparent that the man beside us had locked himself out of his Porsche 911. It was his lane’s turn to move and the Brittany Ferry guys were clearly well drilled for this scenario. A big asterisk of duck tape went on the passenger window then a massive ball-pein hammer was produced. I was impressed that it took three or four good swings to break the window. I’m sure the ferry guys were trying not to smile. I felt sorry for the 911 guy, it was pissing it down outside and I suspect the French version of Autoglass don’t carry spare Porsche windows around in their vans.

Funnily enough duct tape in a similar shape with a 'tail' hanging free can be used to open car windows without breaking them.  

Not sure dude. My 'new' van is a 16 year old T5 with increasingly capricious electrics which will randomly lock itself, activate/deactivate the immobiliser etc. I've trained myself to make sure the keys are on my person at all times unless I'm sat in the driving seat, ready to turn the ignition. I do have a spare set, but I usually forget to take them away with me...

Last time I did this was in around 2000. I was taking part in an adventure race and the basecamp was on shores of Coniston Water.

Realised my error at around 7pm and needed to trot off and find a phone box as there was no phone signal.

AA truck arrived after midnight. Whole campsite woken by diesel truck, my car alarm going off and much cursing. The AA man had been looking for the site for some time and was not in good humour. He was looking at me as if was something off the bottom of his shoe.

I could feel the hate boring into me the following day as my fellow, bleary eyed, racers looked at me with utter contempt.

A weekend that did nothing for my self-esteem!

I remember my dad doing it when we were kids at a remote spot on Dartmoor. Never at home or in town when this shit happens.

We returned from a days climbing down along the Pembroke coast one summer. As we walked along the path I fumbled in my pocket for the car keys but they weren't there. Not to panic I probably put them in the rucksack. We arrive at the car and I turn out the rucksack looking for the keys (no luck) and panic begins to rise. Suddenly one of our party says "I've found them."

"Where?"

"In the ignition."

And lo and behold there were the keys. Unfortunatly central locking had kicked in the door was locked. I was searching about for bits of wire in the litter thereabouts (a hopeless task) when my mate says don't worry I can get into the car. He promptly undid the back door and reached over to unlock the front door. Thinking he was some master car thief I asked him how he had managed it.

"Simple. The back door was open all the time."

Which is how I discovered my faulty central locking system.

As a youth worker in Glasgow, took this heroin addict from Ruchill for a spot of fishing on the canal and drove there to get him out of his ‘patch’. After fishing, I opened the car, but the car keys in my jacket, threw my jacket into the car and slammed the boot shut, locking my keys in the car. This was pre - mobile phone days. Managed to ring the AA but they took ages. My lad went and shop lifted some chocolate. AA came and showed me how to gradually prise the door open using a series of plastic wedges and the used a bent bank stick to squeeze down the small opening and flip the catch. A useful trick to learn, coz I did the exact same thing again 3 weeks later. 

Did the opposite of locking keys in the car.

Travelling overseas (forget where) flying from Manchester Airport, parked up my 110 landrover in the long stay park. Trip went well and four days later I returned, only on landing did I start looking for my keys. Slightly nervous as I couldn't find them, I thought I'd go to the car before escalating the issue. 

Bizzarely, the Landy was still where I parked it and the keys were still hanging out of the drivers door lock. Key fob was bright orange and was very visible.

Had several incidents of locking keys in the car but never a problem as old cars are easy to get into

1998 and Ecrins.  Day before due to drive back via Euro Tunnel.  We do a via ferrata and I lose my car keys.  Go round again but don’t find them.  Don’t have breakdown cover but a friend does. We use her cover to call out breakdown recovery.

I have a spare key which has been under the tent floor during our holiday. But I’d put it in car whilst doing some pre packing for drive home.  Friend sets off and a passenger answers the calls from the breakdown guy. Eventually turns up, gets a laptop out and disappears under the engine.  After a short while they do something that pops locks and I pull doors open. Retrieve spare key and silence alarm.  
 

We set off for Eurotunnel with several hundred km’s and not so many hours to hit our booking time.  We fly up the auto routes at speeds not far short of escape velocity.   Refuelling and toilet stops is like a F1 pit stop.  Somehow we make our train.  I never have nor wish to repeat the experience.

Same here. Salford is known for his high car theft rate, so first time I went there I locked my car in the quays…

I'm pretty sure it varies by manufacturer, model & age of car.  I don't think I've ever had a car* which locked itself as soon as you shut the last door, though, central locking or not.

My current Skoda (2017 Yeti) has the dreaded VAG three-button remote, the middle button of which unlocks only the tailgate.  The tailgate then locks again as soon as you shut it.  I think this is supposed to be useful if all you want to do is load some shopping in the boot before heading off to another shop.  What happens (as in, I've seen it reported happening to other Yeti owners) is that you pop open the tailgate, drop your shopping in (forgetting that your key is in the bag), close the tailgate and...swear loudly.  After seeing that reported just once I resolved never ever to use the middle button on the remote.

The Yeti will lock itself if you unlock it with the remote and you don't open any door within about a minute.  I suppose if a "door open" switch is faulty then it would be possible to open the affected door and leave the key inside during that time, but that would be due to a fault, not design.

* In order of age: Fiesta, Renault 5, Citroen BX, Mazda 323, Subaru Impreza and two Yetis.

Ford have something not dissimilar. On mine it unlocks and also pops slightly open. I have got very paranoid about sticking the fob in my pocket vs a bag.

So far closest I have come to the key in car is dropping it in a supermarket and then panicking. Luckily when I went back the person on the helpdesk gave me the nth degree on what was on the key ring before handing it over.

When doing a saturday job at halfords (long enough back you could do the packaging strap trick) I did break into a couple of cars to solve the problem though so I deserve some good karma.

You have just summed up how my mum used to lock her keys in the boot of the car in the days before central locking - usually just putting her handbag in the boot whilst she returned a trolley.

Like yourself the central button on our key fob is never used.

1995, we had a red Renault 5 and a 3 month old son - our first and only! Took him out to Meanwood Park in Leeds to give his mum a break and continue to work on her PhD. So carefully did I place him in his car seat and went round to the driver side. Car locked and there were the keys on the dashboard! One of the gardeners showed sympathy and let  me use their landline (no mobiles then), but my wife didn’t answer. So he said, I can lend you a hammer. This was my only option so after careful choice I broke a rear window and released my baby. Only cost me £45 to learn a lesson. 
mind you I’ve had to use the AA window wedge method twice since. 

Some amazing / horrifying stories here, thanks!

Some real epics here. Mine are simple by comparison. 

I used to do field archery and rather than carry the car keys over the Moor or through the forest and risk losing them over 8 hours I left them in the car boot, the car only locks if you press the button and won't lock if a door is open, except the boot it turns out. The car can be locked with the boot open. A few hours later the AA turned up, eased the door with a air bag (door never went properly back) and got me in the car. Luckily it was one of those cars that had a flap in the rear seats for carrying skies so I could get my arm in to the boot and fish around for the keys.

Christmas Eve, I'm on my motorbike, finished a clay shoot, had a brew with the lads, they all go home, I pack my gear away only to find I have lost my bike key. No phone signal, on my own with a shotgun, only spare at home but the Mrs is out visiting family and never has he bloody phone on anyway. 

I searched the tea hut top to bottom, I walk the entire site 3 times poking in the mud at each stand, no luck. After a few hours looking I give up and decide I need to walk to the nearest phone signal. By this point I'm very hot so I decide to ditch the bike over trowsers for the walk. 

I take by boots off then the trowsers and I felt something on my foot, the key had fallen through a small hole in the pocket and was trapped in the trowser liner (like most bikers my bike ket is on its own with a small keyring so it doesn't scratch the yolk) 

One other worth noting, on a bike tour through the French alps, me and the Mrs on my bike, my mate and his Mrs on their bikes for 10 days. 

3 days in we stop for food at a cafe on top of one of the cols, again I can't find my key, we scour the cafe, the area outside but no luck, I forgot to bring the spare (normally touring the Mrs has a spare bike yet and spare keys for the locks and luggage but as normal she was late getting ready and we were rushing for the channel tunnel) 

Anyway long story but I found it after a hour ish, I had a bad elbow at the time and was wearing a compression bandage, for a reason known only to myself I decided the thing to do with the key to keep it safe was slip it under the bandage. 

My 3 year old Kia with keyless entry will detect the key is inside the car and refuse to lock. So if I use the boot open button, put the key in and shut the boot it beeps and unlocks the doors.

Then the other day I was in a rush to get away and my wife had misplaced the key again. We were at home, so I got the spare and got in the car. And found her bag on the back seat, with the key in it. I spent all day puzzling about how she could have managed this, I just couldn't how it was possible. Then when I got home she happened to mention that she'd looked out of the window, seen the car was unlocked and so locked it with her phone.

Sometimes these fancy features just cause more hassle than they save.

After a busy day on the hill, I am happily faffing with gear etc when a fellow pilot gets into difficulties. I rush off to help him and realise that I am holding my keys which will be a hindrance, so as I run I throw them with devastating accuracy at my wing. Fortunately the incident is quickly resolved, and I return to pick up my keys - which are nowhere to be seen.

Two hours later, I have searched my gear and under every blade of grass and nettle in a 5m radius, and am desperate. Then the club chairman arrives and takes charge. Yo freeflyer he says, wassup. So I explain the situation and he says, have you looked in the wing. Of course I have, I reply rather testily.

So he looks in the wing and immediately finds them.

Two wet days and a wet wild camp on moor. Returned to car and met with others inc Mrs Wainers.

Someone...not me...locked the keys in the boot of our VW Pasat Estate. For an added bonus the spare keys were in my wife's handbag on the back seat of the car.

AA managed to get there in 2hrs, which on a Sunday in the middle of Dartmoor,  I was impressed with. 

Bad news, he looked at car and said that he would probably end up smashing the window!!

However 20mins with wedges and with some strong wire  which we managed to force through the door seal, managed to open my wife's bag on the seat, drag the keys out and press the unlock button with the wire! Sorted!

my Citroen did this eg central locking when closing the drivers door. the solution was to unlock (once) with key..

I was working in a remote part of Wales, and I arrived at the hotel only to find they couldn't provide any food as the kitchen was broken. I was starving and had a couple of hours of preparation to do before my presentation next day.
Google told me there was a garage 7 miles away that might provide sandwiches, so I drove there, taking my laptop with me as I always did, and locked it in the boot.
Duly bought the sandwiches and sweets, had the brilliant idea of putting them in my laptop bag in the boot, so to save a few seconds as it was chucking it down with rain, I remotely opened the boot as I approached the car, put the sandwiches in the bag, and shut the boot.
With my keys in. And my phone.

Opening the boot remotely had not unlocked the car.

I asked at the garage to use the phone, which they couldn't allow. Fortunately a fellow customer let me use hers and, as I envisaged lots of calls, I phoned for a taxi to take me back to the hotel.
There I was able to phone the recovery company, and told them I was in the hotel if I was needed.
About half an hour later reception phoned me and said there was a recovery company man at reception, so I went down and he took me to my car. On the way he told me there was no way he could get into my type of car without the keys, and asked if I had a spare set. I had, but these were at home in Sheffield.

He said we'll have to go and get them

I then suggested that they contact the recovery company in Sheffield, get someone to pick my keys up, and we could meet them halfway. Good thinking, he said, and I phoned home to tell the family to expect a recovery company man.

We were still at the garage and he was making the necessary phone calls, when another (same recovery company van pulled up. They had a chat, and they told me to go sit in the cab, and he turned the mirrors aside so I couldn't see what they were doing. The first recovery company man said there was a chance his colleague's special tool might help.
We sat there for 30 minutes, and suddenly I saw my car lights flash. I duly got in, pulled down the back seats and recovered my keys.

He would not disclose how they did it, and there was no mention of the method on the forms I had to complete.

Since then, whenever I go on a trip, usually climbing or walking with others, I take my spare key and give it to one of the others, especially when I'm relied on for the transport of the others.

I returned to my van after walking round Yes Tor on Dartmoor today to find a car partly blocking me in, lady apologised, asked if I could get out and said they were having a key issue.  Looked like they were searching the car and their bags.  Got changed and before leaving asked if there was anything I could do to help.  She explained the keys had been placed in the centre console by the gear stick and had somehow dropped through.  They’d pulled a lot of the trim apart to gain access but no sign of them.

i hope they found them.  There were two of them and they had a second car but what a nightmare.

Cheers

Toby

Ah, but we had so much fun for those few hours! .  

I remember cuddling in boot of your car trying to stay warm, having already run up and down the hill multiple times. Definitely a memorable outing! 🤣

I locked my key in the car many years ago. Visited a local garage to beg a piece of welding rod. They snipped it into a sharp point which I poked through the door seal and then hooked the door knob. For a first (and only) time break in I was impressed that I could enter a car in less that 30 seconds. Renault 5. 

I guided a Welsh 3000s team across Crib Goch in the dark, took them down to Nant Peris and said goodbye. 

I woke up the next day to hundreds of missed calls and texts as they had left the keys for the finish point car in the vehicle at the start. Needless to say they were very disappointed at 3am when they found they couldn’t drive home and couldn’t get a taxi at the time of the morning. I wasn’t much help either as I was fast asleep. 

Summer of 1983 or 84 , cannot now remember which   Mate and I drove to North wales for a few days climbing in glorious weather.  Ford Cortina. Bivvied up at cloggy, did Great Wall, Boldest, white Slab and a few others. Then to Pete’s eats for a big meal. Back at car. Oops locked  keys on car. Mate had an idea. Searched for another ford cortina.  Found one on high street.  Asked if we could borrow keys. Keys interchangeable on cortina locks.  Duly opened door . Drove off to Peak District for some more climbing too much laughter.  

Point 5 gulley. Overnight, because it was in good nick, full moon and we knew that Saturday it would be mobbed and we didn't want that hassle. Took a long time, but went well. Trudged tiredly back to the NF car park for the long drive back to the Midlands. 

Little red Peugeot of some sort resplendent in big yellow steering lock. The keys for which are, I'm told, lurking somewhere back in Nottingham. I kept my composure quite well, and considered our options. From Fort William to W/Midlands using only very limited amounts of steering ? Not impossible, I felt. Get someone else to drop me at the station, you're on your own ? Seemed a bit mean, but, you know. I was tired...

Anyway, given ice tools and a bit of time, those big yellow locks come off quite easily it seems. 

Y

The old Hillman Avenger’s boot could only be unlocked with the key, instantly locked when closed. Open boot, put key in jacket pocket, throw gear in boot, throw jacket in boot, close boot… f***, not again!!!

Long time (1987) ago travelling from Weston Super Mare to Newcastle late on Friday  stopped at Ferrybridge, got out locked car, walked away 4 or 5 paces, realised my wallet was still in the car, turned back to get it with the keys in my hand only to find the car key wasn't on the ring anymore. Spare is in a bag in the boot. Could we find it. No. As it was a Cortina I just stopped everyone coming past and asked them to try their key in the door, believe it was actually a Datsun key that opened it. Got the spare key, locked doors, turned to go for food and saw the 'lost' key, 🙄

One other, stopped to top up washers, stupidly put key on air filter while I did so and didn't pick it up before closing the bonnet. Ended up getting a taxi for the fortunately only 3 mile round trip to get the spare as no-one I asked in or using the garage would give me a lift.

Mark

Not quite being locked out, and not me but a friend. She took the car to a garage for MOT, went back to collect later, and because it was a keyless ignition, never thought about keys, just jumped in, pressed the button and drove off. Partway home it started to rain, so she turned on the wipers only to see the car keys fly over the roof and land in the middle of the A1, and get run over by the HGV behind! The car now detected it no longer had the 'key' nearby, so stopped. In the middle of the A1. At rush hour! Cue call to husband to come with spare keys and rescue her, then a trip to the garage to ask why they'd put the keys in the wiper well in the first place.

Same but different, 2001, took ownership of my very first company car and callow youth that I was I was very excited by my new shape Ford Mondeo with all the whistles and bells, and I drove it like I was king of the road! Fast forward a couple of weeks to a work trip to somewhere exotic like Georgia. Departing from Heathrow and the infamous Purple ParkingI arrived for an early flight, dumped my chariot, and off I went.

Things to note:

• Mondeo - company car of choice for almost everyone, and I mean EVRRYONE
• Nondescript off the shelf blue - like ALL the rest
• I had no idea what my reg was
• I didn't take note of the zone I parked in
• Unlike every car in the movies, the remote fob doesn't elicit a 'beep' from the car

Ten days later I flew back in, a late flight this time, it's dark, it's pissing it down, I have no idea where my car is and there are loads of Mondeo's that look like mine, but are not mine. Reader picture the scene if you will of a wet, tired, stupid, young man, traipsing the rows, and rows, and rows of cars, dragging his naff trolley case, wet jeans chaffing, shoes squelching, thanklessly pressing his magic key-fob in the hope of indicator lights flashing to signify the joy that is his actual car. Now lets make that 90 mins of traipsing, now lets make the pre-paid parking expire and run in to extra-super expensive charging, now let's further increase that charge by rolling in to the next day by just a couple of minutes.

Was I miserable, yes. Did I remember my reg off by heart after that, yes. Do I now make note of my parking zone, hell yes! 
​​​​

Reminds me of driving home in a hired VW Polo, stopped at a motorway services for coffee and doughnut. Just finishing when a motorway policeman comes in and starts asking if anyone owns a dark blue Polo - sounds like mine. Police guy says they have just apprehended someone crawling in through the hatchback who says its his car. Turned out the guy had an identical car but mistook mine for his, couldn't understand why his key didn't fit the driver's door but found it would open the hatch - decided to enter the car that way. Police got to him before he could try to start the engine!

I once locked myself out of my old mini (1970s).  My car was parked in Whitby on a Saturday, so knowing how to get in without a key I went to get an old wire coat hanger from a local shop.  Back to the distinctive green mini, I proceeded to straighten the wire out and make a little hook on the end.  This I proceeded to push it between window and the door frame to pull up the little 'door unlock button'. Quite a few shoppers passed by.  No said anything much to me.   I'd almost managed it when I noticed a bag on back seat.  Rather puzzled because I didn't own such a bag I stood back.   Then I noticed there was another mini a few cars down the road exactly the same colour.  Oh dear!!!  I'd been trying to get into the wrong car!!!!.  

Shades of Douglas Adams and a packet of biscuits...

https://www.math.utoronto.ca/beni/bERNARDO_nOT_fOUND/fUNNY_sTUFF/Entries/20...

This is the most common reason for me to use What3Words 

Not locked out of car, but many years ago I was walking back to the car with my wife after a day out somewhere, and she threw me the keys as I was driving back. 

Unfortunately it was a poor throw and and even worse attempt to catch, and they skidded across the cobbles and rattled onto a drain grate before disappearing with a plop into the fetid brown water below.

Luckily, I managed to lift the drain grate, but then had to lie face down in a filthy gutter, while up to my shoulder in foul smelling water while I fished around for them. 

I did manage to find them though, and managed to unlock and start the car even if the remote button never worked again!

I used to have a Peugeot 205 which had dreadful locks, doors would regularly lock then refuse to open.  I entered the car through the hatchback, pulled off parcel shelf and climbed over back seats.  Did it often in public places and nobody ever questioned me/called the police.

Friend of mine admitted to coming out of supermarket in a tearing hurry, charging over to her car, finding the boot full of junk, cursing her husband, she chucked it all in the back seat, loaded her groceries in, returned the trolley, got in drivers seat.  It was only when she’d had to adjust the seat position and the mirror that the penny dropped - it wasn’t her car.  Her car was a couple of spaces along.  She managed to get her stuff out and make an exit before the other person arrived.  They are likely still puzzled has to why their seat was moved and the contents of their boot was on the back seat.  Most folks around here don’t lock their cars.

Following 10 days of buggering about in and around the high lines around Chamonix we decided to have a morning climbing at Les Gaillands. This was our last day, a lovely sunny Sunday, before we headed to Geneva for a teatime flight home. I took my rack out of the hire car, then shut the boot only to hear the doors lock shut. A quick shout out to Harry the Owl enquiring the whereabouts of the keys... 'They're in my jacket pocket, why?' Said jacket was sat on the back seat FFS.

Following lots of panic and fannying around trying to find a garage open in a Sunday afternoon we found someone to lift the car onto a flatbed to take to a garage at Les Houches where the doors were finally unlocked. We made it to the airport, where we dumped the hire car outside the main doors before throwing the keys onto the hire company desk... made the flight with seconds to spare, literally seconds. 

I was sure we would be fined for leaving the car outside the airport rather than at the designated car park, but I didn't hear anything, nor any speeding and red light fines!

Phew!

t'was a friday, t'was moving house single handedly. Was about to drive to collect the van, slammed the boot closed... *click*  keys (including house keys) locked inside. Tried to phone locksmiths but all seemed unwilling to work a weekend. Finally got hold of a guy who said he could do sunday afternoon, he took my numberplate and address and i agreed to meet him then.

Fortunately i was walking distance to the van hire, and i currently lived in a house-share so could get into the old house so long as someone was in. Moving actually went okay, although managed to snap the key to the new place when it was in the front door lock. Moving in via the backdoor was not so fun.

I went back to my old place to meet the locksmith, expecting a call or something. After waiting a while I hear a car alarm sounding, I go outside and this guy has already broken into my car without calling me or anything. I go into the boot and collect the keys. Pay him an extortionate rate and live happily ever after. No, he did not check my ID nor proof of vehicle ownership.

I was walking with my parents on the Thames path. They had been working through it for a while and wanted to complete it, but were hampered by the fact that Mum's eyesight had deteriorated to the point where she was no longer able to drive, making legs that are best tackled in one-way with two cars difficult, so they took advantage of my visit to do one of these legs.

I drove Mum's car, dropped it off, hopped into Dad's car and we set off. We walked 13 miles that day - not masses for me, but Mum had undergone a kidney transplant a couple of months earlier and been unwell for a while before that - this was probably the furthest she had walked in one go in 5 years or more.

We get to the end, where I've left her car, and I can't find the key. I turn out my pockets and rucksack - nothing. I deduce that I must have left the keys in Dad's car. Even worse, Mum's car isn't actually locked (the unlock button on her key is where the lock button is on my key, so I suspect I just pressed the wrong button and thought I had locked it). No harm done, but Mum is so tired she can barely stand up, and cross with me for what she perceives as disrespecting her property.

I deposit Mum and Dad in a pub - unfortunately a bit of a dive, but there weren't many choice, and proceed to spend the best part of an hour trying to find a taxi to take us back to where we left Dad's car - ultimately agreeing to pay them an extortionate fee (around £180 if I remember) just to get it done because Mum is really at the end of her tether. The taxi driver was somewhat rude, but also morbidly obese, and proceeded to stuff himself with chocolate and coke throughout the journey. Mum (who was somewhat fatphobic) gets more cross me with for not organising a better lift.

Thankfully, I was correct, and the key was in Dad's car. I still get teased about it. Mum somehow found the energy to get up and go to pilates the next morning - no idea how she managed that, she was swaying by the time we got her home. Sadly, she passed away a couple of months later from complications relating to the transplant.

Years ago, somewhere in the US, my in-laws stopped at one of those massive shopping malls with ​​​about a million parking spaces in multiple zones. Enjoyed a bit of shopping and then realised they couldn't remember where they'd parked the car, or any sort of reference point to narrow it down. After a while of fruitless searching, they ended up being driven around by the security guards until they found it!

We were at Disneyland Florida last year and the Disney phone app has a utility for logging your car location.

I've also been known to take pictures of landmarks and even log it as a GPS waypoint on my phone if there's nothing else to go by in these situations.

When I was about 14, we were going out shopping for the day. Parked car in the multi-storey and Mum fitted the Krooklok on the steering wheel.

Being in the passenger seat, I noticed that she hadn't actually locked it, so helpfully pressed the button to do so.

Except the reason she hadn't locked it was that she hadn't got the key for it! Bulky, awkward pick-resistant thing that didn't fit on her keyring, so relied on a casual glance thinking it was locked.

So, everyone else went shopping while I got the train back to our village, walked home to get the key for it and get back in time to unlock the damn thing to come home!

I once reached through an open window to close it and only remembered once it was in motion that the doors were locked, key in the ignition (which is in the centre of the dashboard), in the car park of the ice hockey rink in Telford. The AA weren't able to attend for some hours so I ended up having to play an entire ice hockey game with my car key in the car and on display to all. Thankfully still there at the end of the game! Happily they turned up pretty much exactly as I finished a post-game dinner in the Nando's opposite.

I also lost my car key at work in London once when I was living on water and moored in darkest rural Northamptonshire. That turned into a week-long farce of unexpected hotel rooms, trains to other jobs elsewhere in the country, loan of a van to drive home and discover that the spare key had gone missing, and eventually a specialist company to come out to program a new key...who arrived on site in the underground car park to discover they didn't have 3G and thus couldn't do anything. I ended up having to get IT to put a temporary access point in the car park to give the key person Internet.