In reply to UKC Articles:
Great article. Brought a smile to my face though you did miss out me. I think I fall into the Sloth category as later described by Misha, or potentially:
The dog walker (like ‘The Cyclist’, a substitute activity zealot)
No longer left to wee on other climbers’ bags at the crag or stare frustratingly at the treat filled dog toy stuck under the kitchen chair after the ‘master’ snuck out to the climbing wall, this dog gets more attention than Covid 19 updates. Taken out on long walks to the park (it’s still the outdoors but midge free! Got to find the positives…) maybe twice a day, depending on the interpretation of lockdown rules and how far you can stretch an essential ‘comfort break’ excursion. These walks pass walls, trees, letter boxes, bridges, gable ends and other features that the desperate climber will re-assess for traverse or bouldering potential before remembering they’re supposed to ‘protect the NHS’. Dressed in faded belay jacket and euro pants, they tentatively check out others of their tribe on a swift bypass in the park to see if they know them outside of their usual hangouts, but it’s hard to make out facial features beneath an improvised face-mask and category 4 sunglasses.