/ ARTICLE: Are You a Complete and Utter Bumbly? Take the Test!

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UKC Articles 18 Oct 2017
Homoeopath, Symonds Yat, 4 kbFormerly terms such as "Bumbly!" and "Filthy top-roping scum!!" were mortal insults. But times have changed. Nowadays we're all at it, revelling in our prime. Are you a complete and utter bumbly? Take Mick Ward's Test!

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BALD EAGLE 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Ha ha great stuff Mick, that is a really funny read and I would award myself at least senior bumbly status! My climbing buddies would probably give me the full 10 out 10... ;-)
profitofdoom 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

That's a hilarious article, Mick, thanks a lot. And the photos are really great (made my day)
Greenbanks 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

I thoroughly emphatise. I have inhabited this territory, which I claim as my own kingdom.
John2 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Heraclitus said that you cannot step in the same river twice, not Herodotus.
1
planetmarshall 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Mostly I'm just glad not to find myself in the photos. But Christ, Ian Jones' head is big enough as it is ( so big it's in danger of putting off balance his much vaunted footwork ). If he sees this he'll be intolerable!
2
simes303 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

"You can go into Decathlon and buy a pair of beginner shoes that are better than anything Jerry ever had in his prime."

Pink Lasers will never be bettered.
steveriley 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Splendid. Can I add getting stuck by your own nutkey on a descent to the list?
Tyler 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

I opened this safe in the knowledge it didn't apply to me, then I looked at the first picture and thought the subject looked positively elegant compared to the picture I have of me on Toady's Wall. So I closed the article concerned what I might discover about myself!
Mountain Spirit 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Great article Mick! A very funny read and enjoyable read!
airborne 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Can we have one of these articles every lunchtime please.
fred99 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Three pictures of Symonds Yat in one article - must be a record.
derryclimbs 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

excellent work Mick. How did you rate yourself though?
JoeyTheFish 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

The first article I've read that has made me log in and comment! Hilarious stuff - I'm as guilty as the next man but my memories are cast back to being involved with my University club watching students take 'best practice' and pay as little attention as to a first year lecture. My personal favourite was, and something that happened multiple times, for a 'competent' leader to get to the top of a multi-pitch route - little cham springs to mind- only to find that they had brought up fewer seconds than they had started with having left one on a belay blissfully unaware of their now cragfast predicament.
Will Hunt 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

I knew someone once who had become lost and had to be escorted off the hill by Llanberis MRT while walking off Dinas Cromlech.
Will Hunt 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:
And who could forget the BEST EPIC OF ALL TIME.

The couple who got benighted on the Idwal Slabs not once but TWICE and had to resort to drinking from puddles.
Text from the MRT report here:

9th October 2000: 21.23 - 00.55 hrs. Idwal Slabs. Female, 30 yrs. Exhaustion, dehydration and swollen feet.
The woman set off up the Slabs on the Sunday morning with her partner. The conditions were wet and they were very slow climbing. They did not reach the top of the route until dusk and then could not find the walk off. They stayed on the ledge for the night without waterproofs, food or water; these had been left in the rucsac at the bottom of the climb. On Monday morning, they still could not find the walk off and decided to climb down by Ordinary route. By dusk, they were still 200 feet from the bottom and the female could go no further due to hunger and exhaustion. Her partner climbed down and raised the alarm. She was retrieved and walked off. They had not called to any party in the Cwm during the day. They had taken 39 hours to do Hope - possibly a record.
15 Team members.
Post edited at 14:47
Doug 18 Oct 2017
In reply to JoeyTheFish:

While taking two students up a two pitch route at Dunkeld I struggled to talk one of them out of untying & jumping into a tree close to the midway belay ledge while I was at the top bringing up the other student. Seems he was worried about missing the minibus back to Stirling. Thankfully he waited on the ledge& then climbed quickly to the top. We never saw him again though...
Hat Dude 18 Oct 2017
In reply to Will Hunt:

I've posted this before but its a contender for best bumblies spotted (says he, looking down from a position of lofty superiority!)

"An incident I saw on Burbage some years ago involving 3 comedy yorkshiremen.

One of them tried leading Long Tall Sally, couldn't do it and lowered off the gear by the bulge. They then set up a top rope but he still couldn't do it and the gear was still left in the route.

By this time they'd attracted quite an audience which was surreptitiously watching.

One of the three then decided to climb up the rope hand over hand and hang on to it while he got the gear out, he also had a fag in his mouth. His grip failed and he slid down the rope as he did so the fag fell down the front of his shirt. He was able to slow himself down enough to not hit the deck too hard but arrived there jumping about, not knowing which was burning him worse, his hands or the fag inside his shirt."
full stottie 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Excellent Mick,

From a fully paid up member of the club.

Dave
Just Will 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Absolutely cracking article! Another University Mountaineering Club related post: I once went on a university mountaineering trip to the CIC hut, and there were no less than 6 separate failed attempts by different pairs from the club on Garadh Gully (a short, straightforward Grade I/II on the Ben, a short walk from the CIC, in very mellow banked out condition at the time).

On the first day of the trip, three teams set out to claim an afternoon ascent and were turned around after they found (3 hours later and darkness rapidly approaching) that they had spent too much time pitching the approach slopes and hadn't actually managed to begin the climb.

On the third day of the trip, one team set out in the morning to climb the gully followed by Raeburn's easy route... We found them waiting in the hut when we returned that afternoon in complete silence. They had developed such a deep hatred of each other and argued to such a great extent (over a several of hours) before even entering the gully that they aborted on the approach slopes again.

Finally, on the fifth day of the trip, two more teams set out to claim an 'elusive' and 'highly prized' ascent. I went off with my partner to climb Psychedelic Wall that day and as we finished off the top pitch we saw a helicopter rescuing someone off the other side of Tower Ridge (in the vicinity of Garadh Gully). We topped out and rushed over to Garadh gully to see if they were ok. We bumped into the two teams something like 5 hours after they had left the hut that morning, as they were descending back to the CIC hut (thankfully unharmed). They had again climbed the approach slopes, this time beneath another team. The leader of the pair above fell off the snow slope within meters of entering the gully and fell about 20m breaking his ankle. The two teams from my uni waited for the helicopter to arrive and then subsequently backed off telling tales of the gnarliness of the route.

Six team failures in five days, and not a single one made it further than a couple of meters into the climb. That week I also lead some guys up Slingsbys II and we were forced to retreat when the two guys I was leading couldn't second the top pitch. There was also a pair that didn't get up Ledge Route II. Not the most successful week... How I love university mountaineering!
rumblesan 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

"If your rope of three takes more time on Grooved Arete than some folk take on The Nose"

ah crap, which of the teams behind us were you?
Marcus 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Great article Mick - really amusing. Very good selection of photos too - some of them made me laugh out loud!
Sean Kelly 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Top article Mick. The thing with being a bumbly is that we were all there once, hopefully most of us grow out of it or die! BTW is the last pic of Miliee on Right Unconquerable's famous mantle?
lithos 18 Oct 2017

> "If your rope of three takes more time on Grooved Arete than some folk take on The Nose"

quite easy to take more than 2 hrs 24 mins on it i should imagine ....
probably including me when i last did it !

Goucho 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Sorry to correct such a wonderful and amusing article, Mick, but I've done bumbly stuff which would require its own somewhat longer list, and probably give me an overall score of 15
pneame 18 Oct 2017
In reply to Just Will:

> On the first day of the trip, three teams set out to claim an afternoon ascent and were turned around after they found (3 hours later and darkness rapidly approaching) that they had spent too much time pitching the approach slopes and hadn't actually managed to begin the climb.

That sounds exactly like me on an alpine route during my first summer in Cham. Of course, I was by no means a bumbly but a well hard experienced climber....
pneame 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Brilliant Mick. I take exception to every single one of those descriptions that encapsulate my style but I can't possibly be a bumbly....
Mick Ward 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Well this seems to have struck a chord! It seems we've all been in the club (so to speak) at one time or another.

A while back 'abseil' (of this parish) rattled off 10 silly things to do on a crag. I scored 7 1/2. The 1/2 was for a question about going on a hard route after six hours in the pub. It was only three...

As ever, John2 is absolutely correct (thank you): Heraclitus seemed to have more trouble keeping his feet dry than Herodotus. (Obviously the man for Water cum Jolly on a dank December day.) Put this down to yet another bumbly moment on my part. Mea culpa.

Indeed it is Meilee going over the top on Right Unconquerable. I hope she'll forgive me. She had such a punchy, gutsy climbing style. I always wanted to be like that but sadly wasn't.

Mention of RU reminds me of once doing the Unconquerables with the delectable Sue Bird. (Sigh... The Beautician, on Stanage, is named after her, a wry, bittersweet tribute by Steve Bancroft, bless him.) Left Unconquerable passed with nary a hitch but when Sue arrived at the mantleshelf on Right Unconquerable, we discovered that I'd somehow wound the rope round the entire top of the route and further progress was impossible. She took it in good part. I guess it made a change from climbing with Steve and Big Ron.

Personally I love threads like this where the contributions are far better than the original post. They seem like the wandering conversations of yore in huts, bothies and bivvys.

When I was a sprog, I failed on a Hard Diff in the Mournes. It's now risen to the heady heights of Hard Severe. (Really it's ungradeable.) A few years ago, a trio of locals also failed on it and wrote up an hilarious account of their day out - finishing with a top-rope off a somewhat adventurous crag. I think one guy led E5, another E7 and another E9. They were vastly amused and clearly aware that, in climbing, your best efforts may very easily fall well short. And often do.

Mick

pasbury 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:
That kipper crack at the yat makes a bumbly out of anyone. The most awkward bloody thrutch. Funny to see someone facing the wrong (or is it right) way!
Post edited at 22:24
Stuart en Écosse 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Cracking article Mick. I've ticked most of them :oD

A bonus-point earning example of Bumbly #4 has to be an impressive dooode I encountered when I worked in a well-known Glencoe inn some time back.

He looked the business: skinny, unkempt hair, chiffon scarf of the sort worn by everyone, me included, who thought they were someone, Think Pink T-shirt with holes denoting a rough and dirty offwidth-botherer and best of all.....a harness bejwelled with a rack you could lace all of Swanage with. This was in the bar itself, where he remained all weekend while his uni club mates were out in the hills.

Anyway one of my delicate fingered mates stole a No.3 friend off his harness and gave it to me in exchange for several free pints. I still have it but it's a bit mangled.

Dooode, if you're reading this and want it back, pm me and I'll send it on. The wear on it will give you at least ten free grades, in fact I really ought to ask for money.
Misha 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:
Excellent. Best article for a while and bound for classic status. Thanks.
pasbury 18 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Loved the picture of the rope work on Hargreaves Original, very funny, in the sense that you'll die laughing.
pasbury 19 Oct 2017
In reply to Just Will:

Reminds me of a particularly bumbly escapade on the Ben; as a party of three we established base camp in a two man force ten tent. Trying to stack ourselves comfortably and cook a meal generated a vast amount of condensation which froze the moment we lay down and fell as a gentle snow inside the tent throughout the night. In the morning one pair of boots were discovered outside in the snow frozen hard as steel, the only way my mate could make them vaguely malleable was by pissing on them, I think we'd read that that was something hard men had to do.
Armed with Hamish Macinnes' bumper Scottish winter climbs we had inexplicably selected Route Major as a good option for a rope of three relative beginners. The photo diagram looked like the result of a nasty sneeze into a black hanky and the text was utterly inscrutable. Eventually we found a likely looking groove and found that the ropes hadn't been coiled but just stuffed into the bottom of sacs, we spent half an hour untangling them and then the third member of the party took of his gloves, having done the same thing a few days before and had them blow away. They blew away.
We buggered off to the pub.
Big Ger 19 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:
I'm an unashamed, nay, proud, bumbly.


In terms of points 1 & 4 though a kid at a school I worked at must win hands down.

We were on "adventure residential weekend" in N wales. One morning he put virtually all the schools gear onto his harness before we left the hostel and refused to take it off until we got back.

It wouldn't have been so bad, but we were only going to "Pete's Eats" for breakfast, (he was 17 at the time..
Post edited at 02:02
Robert Durran 19 Oct 2017
In reply to planetmarshall:
> But Christ, Ian Jones' head is big enough as it is ( so big it's in danger of putting off balance his much vaunted footwork ). If he sees this he'll be intolerable!

I see that the overopinionated dwarf has already been tipped off on FB.......

Maybe he will be tempted out of retirement to give footwork demonstrations to anyone who just happens to be within earshot.
Post edited at 07:35
John2 19 Oct 2017
In reply to Big Ger:

I'm not sure if it counts as being bumbly or not, but I know someone who climbed the Aonach Eagach Ridge in a party of three in the days of hemp ropes. When they reached the end, their knots had frozen solid and they were unable to untie them, so they had to walk back along the road and into the bar at the Clachaig Inn still roped up.
In reply to Robert Durran:

Ian has retired?!
fred99 19 Oct 2017
In reply to pasbury:

> That kipper crack at the yat makes a bumbly out of anyone. The most awkward bloody thrutch. Funny to see someone facing the wrong (or is it right) way!

There's a secret hold that makes it easier - but I'm not saying where it is.
I once soloed it in front of Dave Hope, making it look easy - conveniently omitting to tell him about the hold or where it was.
Robert Durran 19 Oct 2017
In reply to robertmichaellovell:

> Ian has retired?!

I don't think he's climbed for two years!
Robert Durran 19 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

This morning I set off up a sports route, skipped the first clip, then, when I got to the second one, realised I hadn't tied into the rope. Do I get a point?
Mick Ward 19 Oct 2017
In reply to Robert Durran:

Holy shit - take three. (Err... just as well you didn't shout, "Take!" and, well...)

Any chance of getting Ian back out on the rock again? What a shocking waste of talent. Back in the day, there was a whole bunch of wasters in Sheff who could do E5 'off the couch' - 'cos the weight of social expectation made 'em! (Note: I was very happy not to be one of this merry band.)

I suppose he could always get together with Andy Pollitt and Charlie Creese and they could bill themselves as the three coolest dudes on the planet.

Mick (sadly not the least bit cool)


Robert Durran 19 Oct 2017
In reply to Mick Ward:

> Holy shit - take three. (Err... just as well you didn't shout, "Take!" and, well...)

Fortunately it was easy enough to climb back down.

> Any chance of getting Ian back out on the rock again? What a shocking waste of talent.

I'd love to get him back out - had some great climbing with him despite the odd, er.... well..... , difference of opinion........



Climbster 19 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Nice work Mr Ward. Your article puts me in mind of one of my first climbs, an epic 20 hour traverse of the Cuillin ridge with 8 other university students; which I believe still represents the speed record for the "9 Bumbly Traverse" of the ridge in white out conditions.

At the time I was the presumed "expert" of the group (Having persuaded those even more naive than myself that this was the case) so off I led, in my nice new Hawkins hiking boots, with a swagger completely disproportionate to my experience and an unfailing faith in my own immortality. As the weather closed in and visibility diminished to "I can't see my feet anymore" there was a slight slump in team morale but we remained undaunted and I heroically continued to rope solo the short climbing sections, dragging chains of damp freshers behind me, on 100 metres of alpine 9 mil and a body belay. Between the climbing and the shivering, we navigated by "paces", repeatedly finding ourselves on spurs leading us nowhere but the edge of the visible world and close to extinction. After many hours of tears and laughter and an assortment of near death experiences we descended to the Sligachan; but only after several members of the party had stepped into a dead sheep on the way down (The smell of freshly punctured, putrid sheep guts, after 20 hours without food or sleep, remains etched in my olfactory memory, alongside a sense of pride in our great achievement).

We didn't think we were rockstars but we didn't know that we were bumblies; we were just having fun and, somehow, we all survived. Some have since fallen by the wayside and others have gone on to achieve punter status, on harder but less damp routes and it is the memory of those early adventures which makes me a very happy man and reminds me of why I still love to escape to the hills.
Blue Straggler 19 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Great stuff and I feel obliged to share some of my bumbly moments although I am happy to see that they pale into insignificance against some of these already contributed.

In increasing order of scale:

1) Dovestone Tor, gatecrashing a friend's club meet. I was reasonably solid at VS at the time. I got partnered with a stranger, by the bumbly-boss president, and sent to "warm up" on something easy. Picked some unremarkable 7m Severe. And for some reason, I didn't like the final move. So I built a belay on the ledge and we actually multipitched a 7m Severe. The day went downhill from there.

2) La Poltrona, Cala Gonone. We'd been multipitching some routes on half-ropes as we thought that having half-ropes would be advantageous for the abseils. On our routes, they weren't that relevant and we were getting tired of working with 2 60m ropes on a bunch of 20m pitches and thought that using just one of them, folded, would be nicer. And it was, even if it did make for a few additional abseils. Unfortunately I still had the "folded double" in mind when I set off up a 28m single pitch route....with a load of Germans watching me with "WTF" expressions on their faces. LUCKILY, years of experience as a bumbly gave me the ability to make it look like it was a deliberate exercise in perversity, as I clipped into the lower-off directly and carefully sorted everything out

3) Avalanche/Red Wall/Longlands Continuation. I know it's not uncommon to go a bit wrong at Lliwedd but you'd think that having been on the route before (aborted attempt that time due to having to share the line with REAL bumblies above us who liked stamping on loose bits to see exactly how loose they were...), I'd have got us to the right starting point. Nope. We still can't work out what we climbed but I reckon we had three pitches of top-end HVS, which was at the outside edge of our climbing ability. I think we were on whatever it was, for 8 hours, much of which was expended on conversations about backing off at each belay.
pasbury 20 Oct 2017
In reply to Blue Straggler:

> 3) Avalanche/Red Wall/Longlands Continuation. I know it's not uncommon to go a bit wrong at Lliwedd but you'd think that having been on the route before (aborted attempt that time due to having to share the line with REAL bumblies above us who liked stamping on loose bits to see exactly how loose they were...), I'd have got us to the right starting point. Nope. We still can't work out what we climbed but I reckon we had three pitches of top-end HVS, which was at the outside edge of our climbing ability. I think we were on whatever it was, for 8 hours, much of which was expended on conversations about backing off at each belay.

Ah Lliwedd, the quintessential bumbly's cliff, there's a legend about King Arthur's Knights sleeping in a cave waiting for the call, it's actually a large party of 'serious climbers' trying to find the last pitch of some obscure diff.
profitofdoom 20 Oct 2017
In reply to JoeyTheFish:

> My personal favourite was, and something that happened multiple times, for a 'competent' leader to get to the top of a multi-pitch route - little cham springs to mind- only to find that they had brought up fewer seconds than they had started with having left one on a belay blissfully unaware of their now cragfast predicament.

That is a hilarious story Joey, I don't know why it is so funny but it is

It reminds me of something we did at Avon once many years ago. On a climb where the stance was out of sight of the ground we were on the stance with the final second still tied on on the deck. We unroped and tied the rope to a tree then rapidly escaped sideways still out of view of the ground and went to the pub. The stranded second turned up in the pub wordlessly a very very long time later looking sheepish
3
Martin Bennett 20 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Hit the nail on the head with that. An excellent start to my day. Thanks. I suspect it gets a huge appreciative audience because we've all been there; having entered my eighth decade I suspect I'll soon be there again. Already am perhaps.

I especially relate to your comment about the ludicrous and pompous expression "building a belay". Good to know there are other curmudgeons who decry this sort of stuff. Almost as bad as "send". Thankfully the latter seems, like a number of American ideas (CB radio comes to mind) that did not translate, to be disappearing from British literature.
myrddinmuse 20 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Yet another university related post...

I will never forget the day we left behind three of our club members at Bosigran by accident because in our minds there was no conceivable way they could have taken 9 hours to complete commando ridge (which I and a friend had done in a couple hours that morning. But indeed, they had not left earlier in a car, as we found upon arrival at the campsite. To this day I have no comprehension of how.

It was the crew from Swansea University who were queueing behind them all day (a credit to themselves for not butting past) that I felt truly sorry for. 11 hours, they mentioned to me once, all things considered? No puddle sipping, but another record surely.
the flying horse 20 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Brilliant!
can claim 10/10 over the years
More please
kevin stephens 20 Oct 2017
In reply to Mick Ward:
A very entertaining and insightful essay Mick, many thanks. I must have missed the msg asking to use my photo of Meilee, which of course wouldn't have been withheld.
4
Mick Ward 20 Oct 2017
In reply to kevin stephens:

Am glad you liked the essay. It's a really lovely shot of Meilee and, as I say, I hope she'll forgive me. She had such a gutsy climbing style; by contrast, I always seemed like a nervous mare, almost sniffing the rock, first and often second refusal...

As I can't take photos to save my life, I've always been utterly dependent on other people's. I seem to remember checking out, some years ago, whether it was OK to use photos in the database in UKC articles. (Obviously would never use them anywhere else without express permission.) At the time, it seemed to be OK. I think I used to ask people about specific photos but everyone just seemed fine with it, almost, "Why are you asking?" So it looks as though I've become remiss. And I apologise. Certainly with magazine articles, I was beyond scrupulous about people's photos - which you should be.

So - profuse apologies. If you like, we can remove it. But it is such a lovely closing shot. I remember going over the top of Pearls at Chatsworth and having a similar experience. So rounded. So many udges. A nagging feeling that tentative udges up might be rudely superseded by swift downward flight!

All best wishes,

Mick


Timmd 20 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:
...
Your proper Bumbly has no earthly idea how to use a guidebook properly. Basic navigation is an utter mystery. A few years ago, I was wandering off to Blacknor with a certain Rockfax writer when we were accosted by about a dozen characters, all waving Rockfaxes (but not actually reading 'em), arguing furiously amongst themselves but not bothering to look for clues, such as… err, the path down.

We showed 'em the path down. We even went down it ourselves. And yet still they continued arguing. To my great amusement, the aforesaid guidebook writer, a man of unquestioned silver-haired maturity, put his head in his hands and muttered, "Why do I f*cking bother?" (Whereupon I reminded him of the royalties; at this he cheered up remarkably.)
...

This had me chuckling.
Post edited at 22:31
kevin stephens 21 Oct 2017
In reply to Mick Ward: Thanks Mick, very much appreciated. I was very pleased with the picture, especially capturing her face in profile. As you say it is good to know where and how our pictures are used or going to be used. All the best
Kevin

mes32 21 Oct 2017
In reply to Robert Durran:

I got to the top of a long steep Costa Blanca sport route that became trad when the bolts ran out, reached the anchor, happily untied from the rope as was planning on doing something complicated that I can't recall the specifics of now, and threw the rope down the cliff. There was a brief moment when I thought "Hmmm, something looks wrong here", and then I realised....

Fortunately, although the rope had slipped through my last few bits of gear it had then looped over something about 4m below me. As I luckily had lots of slings (why?!) and a few spare draws I managed to downclimb and rig interlinked slings to myself as I went, but it was all off one bolt and extremely tenuous each time I had to add an extension. Not my finest moment and definitely a bumbly-qualifier!
artif 21 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Can't all yourself a Bumbly if you can fit your rack on your harness, proper bumblies need a double gear sling to carry it all https://www.ukclimbing.com/images/dbpage.php?id=300803

I think my most bumbly moment was going to Stannage (I was in the area) to try out my newly acquired Silent partner. Setting up ground belay and proceeding crawl up some mediocre route of about 10- 15 metres with half a ton of gear, while 3 yoofs soloed about ten or more routes nearby in the same time (they were discrete enough to keep the laughing until after they left). I was going to try a second route, but I left the portaledge in the car.
jess13 21 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

How many people have done the 'bumbly move' ie stepping on the rope when stepping into the groove on Creag Dhu Wall direct finish- I have. As you stand up you find there is not enough rope to allow you to lock your leg off so you end up in a semi crouched position, reversing is a blind move probably ending up falling off. There must be plenty of 'bumbly moves' just waiting for people like me.
John2 21 Oct 2017
In reply to jess13:

Your reminding me of the time when I lifted the runner protecting the crux of Javelin out with my foot as I climbed past it, leaving myself with several more hard moves without protection.
Goucho 21 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:
OK, Mick, here are some of my bumblies.

Pulling an axe placement out at face level so hard on Chaos Chimney in Glencoe, that the adze went straight into my mouth resulting in 3 stitches in my bottom lip.

Clipping into my gear loops instead of the tape loop on my Whillans harness whilst belaying on the Gates stance during an ascent of the Cromlech Girdle, only realised when a guy doing the Gates arrived on the girdle ledge and pointed it out.

Getting wedged solid in Swimmers Chimney on Froggatt, requiring rescue.

Climbing a route in the Dolomites using the route description for a completely different route on a completely different mountain.

Jumping off a boulder problem on the Cowper Stone at Stanage, but forgetting to take my foot out if the horizontal it was wedged in, resulting in ending upside down hanging from my jammed foot with my arms about a foot short of the ground, and unable to unjam it. Was eventually extracated by a couple of passing walkers - one took the weight, while the other pulled my foot free.

Abbing off an aborted attempt on Lord of the Rings on Scafell when the wind got silly. The ab ropes just blew horizontal, so I thought I'd weigh them down with some gear. Threw them down again, now weighted with most of our combined racks - they still blew more or less horizontal, but in the process a nut got wedged in a crack so we couldn't pull them back up again. What should have been a simple 5 minute ab, turned into a 3 hour epic involving the kind of theatrics worthy of a Jaques Tatty film.

Demonstrated my crap big wall hauling technique by dropping the haul sack onto my mate on North America Wall.

Dropping the stove off bivi ledges in the alps - twice!

And there are certainly more
Post edited at 21:44
Mick Ward 22 Oct 2017
In reply to Goucho:

Wow - some real beauties in here!

I guess the Lord of the Rings one is a classic example of the scenario where the solution to a problem just gets you in deeper... (and sometimes deeper).

Re the first one, one day back in umm... early 1990s I'm guessing when a largely unknown Stevie Haston is climbing on pretty equal terms with the late Patrick Edlinger, then probably the most famous climber on the planet (sorry Jerry!)

Stevie suggests they go ice climbing (relatively unfashionable, at the time) for a change.

Edlinger: "Pah! Ziss ice climbing... eet is for girls!!"

Stevie (grits teeth, eyes narrow): "Yeah, maybe it is, Patrick, maybe it is... but hey... just indulge me."

They go ice climbing. They come back. Edlinger, a world-class athlete with (up until then) a classic Gallic profile, is now sporting a broken nose and is so wrecked he can't raise his arms above his head.

"OK, Stevie, OK... eet is not just for girls!"

Re girls on ice, Stevie casually once remarked of his wife, "Laurence is crap on ice." She was sitting beside us; I was cringing but she didn't bat an eyelid. (You've got to give it to the French - they do cool better than anyone.) I believe she was the world female ice climbing champ at the time!

So bless both Edlinger and Laurence for being such good sports. Seems like neither of them were too bothered about bumbly status - whether deserved or not.

Mick

jungle 25 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

I vowed never to become a bumbly after getting lowered into Boulder Ruckle on my first outdoor trip (I was only climbing 5's at the time!). Needless to say I had to prussik out with my beginner-baby-skin hands.

Note....went back a year later and had an epic off-route saga with my missus.

...I am a bumbly
Wingnut 25 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

Oh, gawd. I've ended up in exactly the position in the photo (ie draped over the block with my bum in the air) on Tody's Wall. And, while I've never intentionally worn my harness to the pub, I did once get as far as Derby on the train home before someone pointed out that I still had my helmet on.
Or there was the time we ended up resorting to aid on a Diff. (Well, it was supposed to be a Diff. Yes, Lliwedd again.) Or the time I ended up climbing more or less by feel on Beinn Udlaidh (fewer working torches than people, and none of the three of us thought to check the time before setting off. Top tip - it gets dark early in winter.) Or that time we ended up doing an epic retreat from Easy Gully ...
jonnie3430 25 Oct 2017
In reply to UKC Articles:

How about:

Turoid; use UKC but haven't logged a climb this year.

Bumbly; use UKC and most logged climbs are in the Peak this year.

Punter; use UKC and most logged climbs this year are outside of the Peak.

Player; use ukb.

Note; applies to trad, sport would require much sickr names, like mong, biff and wad.
2
Mountain Spirit 26 Oct 2017
In reply to jonnie3430:

LOL
Yo pienso que estoy un turoid.

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