"I have problems seeing my hands in front of me and know it's far from over yet. I put away my frozen rope but can't remove my harness as the webbing buckles are totally frozen stiff. I put my sack on and try to get out of this nightmare. I'm having a horrendous time descending as I can't see my compass properly and the snow is waist deep in the corrie."
"I don't know if I can carry on; my body is exhausted and with no sleep for two days, or decent food, I am at breaking point. I'm not even at the first aid box yet, and I've been floundering here for more than an hour. I sit down. Blasted by spindrift and freezing cold, I start to cry – it's hopeless."
"So this is how it ends for those stupid enough to defy common sense and all that goes with it in the mountains. I drift off to sleep; somehow it no longer seems important to move."
Crazy Sorrow is a biography of Alan Mullin, the UK's top winter climber of the turn of the 21st century. Surviving an abusive childhood, he served in the British army for eight years before being invalided out.
Having been introduced to ice climbing during his military service, only two years later he was making first ascents of the hardest routes in the harsh discipline of Scottish winter climbing such as Steeple (IX, 9) in 1999. He then abruptly retired from climbing, and due to mental illness committed suicide at the age of 34.
The editor, Grant Farquhar has used the writings that Alan Mullin left behind and combined these with anecdotes from other climbers to create a compelling tale of Alan's life including his childhood, army service, climbing career and final tragic days.
The book includes contributions from Alan Mullin, Jim Fraser, Leo Houlding, Andy Kirkpatrick, Dave MacLeod, Kevin Mullin, Neil Morrison, Simon Richardson, Niall Ritchie, Guy Robertson, Ron Walker and photos from Kevin Thaw, Ian Parnell and Heinz Zak.